i dont have the balls to quit.

so here i am, an hour into my morning (technically 22 min, i was running a little late today) and im sitting here pondering why dont i just quit? my director asked me to fill out my weekly priorities matrix and i pull up last week's and i notice nothing changes. maybe i am just not a good BSer but i really dont see how i can fluff this week's matrix. she asked me and my former boss for our top priorities, and im thinking, wow, there really is no use for the both of us. our new president was right, he didnt understand why my group needed two people, and honestly, i dont either.

this crazy idea popped in my head, i have a part-time job that i actually dont mind doing. what would happen if i quit my real job and just go full-time on my part-time job. maybe become an assistant manager? would it be that bad? i would still get health benefits, and i would be taking a pay cut, but it allows my schedule to be more flexible, i dont have to be on edge every time the new management team is in the office, i dont have to worry about getting laid off, i know, its way out there, and i probably won't even do it, but it is nice to consider...

dear company where i work,

i wanted to say that after working almost two years for you, i have realized that you are the reason for my depression. you pay me so little that janitors make more money than me. you force me to have a second job so i can accommodate for the cost of living in one of the most costly counties in the state of maryland. thank you for promoting me from my measly data entry job and then demoting me to doing the job equivalency of an admin to then promoting me to account management. what a roller coaster this has become. when you asked us to all pitch in, we are in a financial hardship, we are in a hiring/salary freeze, but please go above and beyond, why am i the only one pitching in? oh because i need this job, i need health benefits. you have disturbed my mental state in the matter of months. i never want to work for you ever again. i have hopes of getting laid off. i dont care about my promotion because i dont want to work for someone who devalues my skill set, who thinks i am so awesome because i know how to press print and staple your power points. thank you company where i work for allowing me to realize that i am better than this - one day i will stick it to you and will never look back. i have so much clarity now. one can only hope that you do not survive this economic depression and sink into the ground.

thank you,
your undervalued, underpaid loathsome employee.

ps- thank you for paying me to work today where i did absolutely nothing except browse internet sites.