mini meltdown.

blame it on the pms-ing.

i was really bummed today. i think its bc ive been working a lot. i just finished my first full week of working my regular full-time job with working 20+hours of my part-time job. it takes it toll, but the extra income is so worth it.

"don't you think you're working a little too much?"- sister
"well, im just trying to pay off my credit cards."- me
"simple, just dont use them."- sister

if only it were that easy. what sucks about working in the mall is that when i get there a little bit earlier before my shift starts or when im on my break, i shop. i cant resist. for some reason, i always find something. ie today, i bought 3 pairs of suede boots. one in grey, black, and brown. i love them. i know. im leaving home without the credit cards.

i decided to go out friday night bc my weekend was pretty shot with me working full days on sat and sun. boy, did i wish i stayed in. i went to an open bar from 7-9 with a few ppl from work. the place was not at all my scene and was rather too intense, not worth the money to get in, and didnt drink enough to make it worth it. i went to grab a bite to eat with one of the girls i was with while the other ppl went to the bar next door. little did we know they would leave us and not pick up or txt their location. yah, who does that? case in point, i hate going out with a group of ppl, even more so groups of girls.

so that put a damper on my mood for the weekend. it just made me feel alone. ive been struggling to find a group of friends down here in dc. but its hard. i never meet anyone unless its through work. i dont want to get too close to my coworkers bc 1) i feel i have to censor myself 2) dont want office gossip spread about me 3) cant really trust them. so other than work, how else are you supposed to meet ppl?

i can go along and say that im picking up more hours of work bc i need the money, but also, i dont want to sit at home by myself.

i also contribute my self-pity party to me being tied to the dc area for a very very long time. i havent gone anywhere in the past 3 months! today, i thought of driving up to phl for a day to just roam around center city aimlessly, stopping in for a delicious crepe at le creperie, getting a gilato at capogiro, then sitting at love park watching the skaters or reading a book in rittenhouse. as i type, i can envision myself in the familiarity of the city. oh, how i long to be back in the city's company.

tomorrow awaits a new day. lets hope less glum.