so the one thing i never wanted to do

i did.

i cried at work. couldnt even make it to the car or the back parking lot.

ive been super stressed lately and i feel like i dont have time to relax or enjoy life. i picked up all those hours at the pt job bc i really wanted to pay down credit cards but instead, i racked up more and more debt with the mentality of having a second income.

after having a very very stressful day of ft time work on monday, i had an afternoon meeting that ran longer and was rushing to leave work to go to the pt job. i quickly glanced at my computer screen and saw 17 new messages to be read, none of them bs emails, then i had principal approved folders sitting in my chair, and post it notes galore from my manager. i couldnt deal, so i shut off my computer, packed the laptop and the data i was working on and rushed off to go to the mall.

i ended up leaving the pt job an hour early so i could finish up my work. three hours later, i made a lot of progress and called it a night. i go into work the next day and i keep working on more and more performance data. fast forward to mid-afternoon, spoke with the director who basically said i just waited my unpaid hours the previous night and all day today on nothing. NOTHING. i didnt have to do any of it. i thought i had to do it bc thats what my manager told me to do, but no, she was wrong. all she could do was apologize. then a huge sense of emotion came over me and i was in shock. i mean, i spent hours, tedious, mind numbing hours on inputting performance data only to find out i just had to label it for design team to input. i got up, walked away from my desk, and just started balling, and i mean really hard. it was just too much work. i was overwhelmed. nothing could be said or done to make me feel better. i needed to let it out.